


Have You Heard?

by Leopards_Bane



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Ears, Gen, cracktastic, insane, no idea what I was thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-10
Updated: 2010-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leopards_Bane/pseuds/Leopards_Bane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have no excuse for this really lol</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have You Heard?

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: Time Hound
> 
> I tried several times to post this at www.whofic.com and got regected each time :P 
> 
> The only other person (besides me) that deserves blame for this story is Xanthe, after reading her story “Captain Jack’s Seduction” (you can read it here http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=3525 ) I couldn’t stop laughing at the image in my head :P so here goes! This is semi-beta'd, it took me about 10 minutes give or take to write this while on pain meds so its no wonder it didnt make sense the first time I posted it. 
> 
> BBC owns Dr. WHO, Chris E. owns his ears!

The TARDIS was mostly quiet at this time of the (relative) morning that the strange sound from the console was very odd indeed. The muffled squeaks continued in a light rhythm counted at one, two ... one, two... one... pause ... The door that lead to the rest of the Timeship opened to admit Capt. Jack Harkness. 

The lights brightened as a sunrise for the Time Agent as he went about looking for the tools he had been using under the console, when he stopped dead in his tracks. Two curly pink ... things... squeaked in surprise of their own, their 'dance' interrupted. Straightening their posture, if such things could be said to even have posture, continued their apparent game. 

Jack stared down the (for lack of a better word) squiggles, waiting to see what they would do next. A bout of mild cursing came from the hall announcing Rose as she lightly tripped over the threshold, a trashy paperback in her hands and a question for the Doctor on her pouty lips. "Wha ...," she stopped beside Jack looking at the something's on the console. Turning slightly, still keeping the things in sight Jack tells her in a low voice, "Rose, go get the Doctor, tell him I think we have ... mice." The last is said with a confused expression on his face, as though he had never seen mice that looked like this. 

Moving slowly so as not to startle the curious things she leaves the way she came, pelting down the hall to get to the Doctor, figuring on his Time Lordy ways, he’s likely to be in the kitchen, when she gets to the door she is treated to another curious sight. 

The Doctor is sitting at the table with a mug in his hands and, oddly he's wearing a ski cap. "Doctor, we have a problem in the control room, Jack thinks we have mice." Rose gulped out the last word as though it tasted bad. 

Startled out of his mild dose by Rose’s declaration, he jerks, spilling a bit of tea on his lap, "Rose!," he shouts dabbing at the stains on his jeans. "What are you talking about? Silly apes, we don’t have mice, but I will come out and see what's got you both in a tizzy." 

On the way back to the control room Rose keeps looking at the odd shape of the Doctor’s head wondering why he’s wearing that cap. Striding into the room, the Doctor sees Jack frozen in place staring at something he can't see. "What's all this fuss about mice? You of all people should know better, that I would know if we had a infestation of some kind." 

Jack just shakes his head and points to the far side of the console and looks back as though transfixed. The Doctor and Rose move to stand on either side of Jack, the subject of his fascination now clear. 

The two unidentified pink things appear to be doing a waltz across the console moving in perfect 4-8 time for a box step, with a hop in this case at each formations end. 

"Oi!" 

The Doctor exclaims at the dancers. "Where the 'ell have you been? I wake up and you two have buggered off and these Bonobo's think we have mice!" The creatures squeak in protest as the Doctor picks them up shaking them by the tip of their tops, before squishing them together in one hand as he rips off the ski cap with the other to reveal why his head looked so odd. Looking at his captives, he separates them before slapping one to either side of his head ... 

They were his EARS! 

Once there each gives a chastened wiggle in apology, nodding the Doctor says, "Now stay there, and don't go wandering off again! Can't believe no one remembers Rule One around here." 

Stalking off, leaving his human companions shaking with terrified laughter, the Doctor returns to the kitchen to finish his now cold morning tea. 

Through the still open door Jack could be heard, saying "... at least someone got to dance around here." 

The End (thank goodness!)


End file.
